Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just forgot I was standing up.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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