I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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