Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
