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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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