awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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