but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think your dad took our porno
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize