Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
