you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
