david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
