ugly people sure do ruin things
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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