I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
