also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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