Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
