.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
