Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
