only if we run a train.
done.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
