Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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