The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
