Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
