he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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