when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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