I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Farmville is her only friend.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
