And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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