I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
