thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
