after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
