True but thats because hes a fetus.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
