She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Randomize
