You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
