did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
