Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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