there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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