If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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