none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
