Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize