i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
