Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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