It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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