Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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