so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
