addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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