Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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