Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
