You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
