She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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