the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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