i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
