We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
