Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
