just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
