if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just googled if crying burns calories
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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