also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
