toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
