he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
