Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize