it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
