our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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