He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize