So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
