I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
