I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
