I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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