If i come over, it means nothing
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
