i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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