we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
