Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
