i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
