I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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