I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
