Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
